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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

My Dad Voted for Trump and I STILL Love Him.

You may not like what I'm about to say.  And that's okay.  I'm not forcing you to agree with me nor am I pushing you to change how you feel.  I'm here to provide you with how I feel. So calm down and settle in. 

I'm going to be fresh with you.  I hate talking about politics.  I do whatever I can to avoid it whenever it rears its ugly head.  Although it's an important topic it's a shitty one at best.  Why?  It always ALWAYS brews an argument.  There are just some things that should be avoided and this is one of them.  Now--this post obviously has to do with politics but it also comes from a place that I hope you can understand no matter your political affiliation.

I think we can all agree on one thing here--we are in the eye of the storm.  A violent, turbulent, self-destructing storm.  Relationships have crumbled, marriages have fallen into disrepair and families have been divided.  Canada has even offered refuge.  And this is all because of one person.  Donald Trump. 



It's happening all around us.  You'd think we can just escape it by going to social media as an outlet for freedom of expression, but then someone gets worked up by another headline on CNN.  And before you know it, you're sucked right back into the tornado of anger and hate. 


Social Networks have developed into this field of non-stop landmines.  You step one way, your leg gets blown off.  You step another way--you could end a lifelong friendship.  (It's brutal.)  If you say something and you don't explain it in full detail you get screamed at or judged.  (I'm speaking from personal experience.)  If one of your friends expresses how they feel on your wall--the likelihood of someone else getting offended and going off on you is a guarantee.  There would be no escape from the swarming hornet's nest that you accidentally knocked over.  Everyone is angry no matter the political affiliation.    It's hard to avoid it.  It's even harder when it hits home.


My dad voted for Trump.
At the time my head felt like it was spinning.  How was I going to process this?  Was this even happening? At first, I was angry.  I won't lie to you about that.  But then I became confused.  It didn't make sense why my dad would vote for someone like this let alone support him.  It just didn't add up Among all the hateful swarms of older generations who were in an uproar, my dad apparently felt the same.  


  I was angry.  I'm still angry.  And maybe, I'm still confused.

 And through all my mixed up feelings, I couldn't bring myself to challenge him in an argument.  (Believe me, I love a good argument.)  And I'm not just rolling over on the issue because I'm 'lazy' or 'careless.'  (Which I'm sure the majority of you are thinking.) Not true.  I just want to avoid what has already happened to people.  I wanted to avoid saying something that I wouldn't be able to take back.  I wanted to avoid destroying my relationship with my dad.  I wouldn't let that happen even though it was happening everywhere else...



I had my friend tell me that she couldn't speak to her parents let alone be in the same room with them because--they voted for trump.



I read that a 22-year-old marriage had ended over the election.



It was crazy to me how quickly this was all spiraling out of control.  And how quickly relationships were being damaged by this whole ordeal.  It was like a wildfire.  Starting out small, and then you blink and the whole forest has burned down.  Gone.  But do you know what fuels that wildfire?  Anger.  It's allowed people to jump to the most insane of insane rationales.  If I end my friendship and/or marriage this will all go away.  I don't have to hear the anger, the hate, and the bigotry.  It will all just disappear.


Believing it will all just disappear by disbanding yourself from others won't solve the issue.




It's like spilling milk on the floor and a putting newspaper over it.  You can't see it but it's still there no matter how much you try to cover it up.  And I think by doing that a lot of people are missing the point.  By doing that, you are hating them for their political affiliation.  (No matter how much you disagree.)  You are becoming a part of this hateful cycle.  You are becoming that self-destructing wildfire.  A steamrolling, out of control wildfire who will stop at nothing till it destroys everything.  Your opinion is the only one that matters.  Everyone else is garbage, am I right?   


Let me just make one thing very, very clear; I don't like Trump.  I would have never voted for him. But I also didn't like Hillary either (since the majority of Trump-haters are in fact Hillary and Bernie supporters).  I'm not condoning any of his behavior.  Believe me.  I'm focusing on the personal connections we all know so well that are being tarnished without the possibility of any repair.  And there's been some research on this.    I mean, look at these statistics...







Since November, the pattern has stayed the same.  You find out that someone has voted for Trump and you announce publicly online that if they did they needed to step out of your life.  Forever.  Since I will never approve of Trumps presidency, why haven't I disowned my father like so many people have?  I'll tell you why.  And it's so simple...


It's not worth it.


It just simply isn't worth the time spent to be angry over something like this.  Is it worth throwing away your closest relationships for someone who may not even be around full term? Your marriage.  Your relationship.  Your friendship.  These personal connections that may have lasted for years are gone in the blink of an eye.  Burned to the ground into nothing.  And I think the worst part of that whole thing is that people aren't thinking twice when they toss someone out of their life.   


I know what you're thinking--to be silent is to be oppressed.  Being silent here is not about being oppressed.  I don't consider myself oppressed at all.  I just chose a different path.  A path that not many are on right now.  This path is much more fulfilling and isn't clouded by hate and constant verbal battles.  It doesn't leave me hurt and frustrated.  This choice has allowed me to be bigger than the issue.  Stronger than the issue. 



My dad has voted for someone I could never stand by.  And although I don't agree with it, I don't think any less of him.  Not for one second.  And you're probably wondering why.  Growing up was rough.  I was a tomboy that loved to climb fences and get her hands dirty. When I was growing up my dad was my only friend.  He was the backbone of my childhood.  And it meant the world to me at that age since I felt like I had (literally) no one. 


No matter his political affiliation, I will love my dad till I am dead (and haunting people.)  Nothing will ever be able to change that.  Period.  No matter what disgusting face I get from someone else.  No matter how much it's currently 'frowned' upon by millennials.  He voted for who?  And you love him why? 

My dad voted for Trump and I STILL love him unconditionally.  

   

This 'wall' has already been built.  And it's been built by us.  It's been built by hate.  And it's only going to get taller and stronger.  Politics have a way of turning people against one another.  (Same goes for religion.) Instead of coming together and finding common ground or balance, we get wound up in our emotions.  We are programmed to believe our way is the right way.  Why not view things holistically?  Your view isn't the only view.  And I truly believe that's why there's been such a huge divide.   


Don't let anger drive you away from the ones you love.  Reach a common ground.  Be above the issue.  Be above the anger.  And try to remember it's not worth it.




xx
Meg




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