A few days before I receive my shitty paycheck, I start budgeting. Or what I like to call slash-and-burn. This the time where my soul gets crushed by Corporate America. I probably feel more pressure around this time than any other time during the month. Instead of looking forward to payday, I end up getting super angry, frustrated and downright irritable. Checking off what’s due (and what I can put off till later). Whatever isn’t eaten away by bills (or upcoming conventions) the extra cash gets thrown into my savings or girly essentials.
After my paycheck gets gnawed away by bills and other adult responsibilities, I began looking at the things I need. And by things that I need–I really mean–things that I shouldn’t buy but should so I don’t look scary in public. If it were up to me, I would show up to work in a nightgown with no makeup on, and my hair drenched from the shower. But since I work in an office that type of homebody look is frowned upon…
I’m the first person you see if you come into our office. I have to greet you, help you with whatever you need and above all else–I have to look presentable. Higher ups always pass through. The General Manager and Vice President frequent our building often. Truth to be told–I’m kinda the face of the building (which is terrifying now that I think about it..). Don’t get me wrong, there have been some days where I’ve just thrown on my glasses and eyelashes, rolled up to work with my hair in a messy bun (only because I was running late)–don’t judge me.
In some way, I have to look put together and that I give a shit about my overall appearance. I have to look like I actually have eyebrows (even though I’ve trimmed them far too much). My face has to look like a face. When it comes time to getting ready in the morning, I have a specific drill. I start out by placing all of my necessary essentials on my table, and by essentials–I mean, the necessary tools that it takes for me to look/feel fly. I take out all my brushes that I’m about to use, the essentials for my eyebrows, foundation (both powder and liquid) my choice of eye shadow pallet, bronzer, eyelashes, eyelash glue and If I’m in the mood–my choice of lipstick.
Over the weekend as I was preparing for my little get together with Little Shop of Gore, I realized something. I was beginning to run out of some stuff. I wont lie to you–I started to panic. Noticing that I was going to need about a 75% restock, I gritted my teeth. Running low on your cosmetics is both frustrating and annoying. Why? Because as most girls know–high end-worth-every-penny-cosmetics are expensive.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m normally excited to go treat myself to some makeup (even though I get plagued with buyers remorse after the fact). But truth be told–I get anxious when I spend x amount of dollars on makeup. Makeup. Money that could go to literally anything else, but because I have to care about my appearance (and the fact that I thoroughly enjoy putting myself together when I’m not moody or lazy) I don’t really have a choice…
Now, I never buy my makeup all at once. I wait till I run out of two to three things that I need and then I go in and drop money on it (not smart, but don’t judge me–I’m poor). Each item adds up. It sucks having to buy things ‘at a time’ but it’s just how the cookie crumbles. But if I had the money to spend to do a full restock, how much would it be?
And then it hit me…
How much does my face cost?
I was afraid to do my homework and find out the shocking truth. Would it change what I buy? (Probably not). Here’s the thing (and it may sound bitchy or materialistic) but I only buy top rated cosmetics. I mean–it’s about to go on my face. Why would I spend money on something that is known to suck? Or better yet, why would I buy something that wasn’t top rated to begin with? I’m not about to look/feel cheap. I want clean, polished results for my money. That’s not too much to ask! My brands include Too Faced, Tarte and Anastasia Beverly Hills. Those are my top three. I know what you must be thinking;
My skin is sensitive to begin with. If I use a cheap product, my face starts to break out. I’ve tried liquid foundation from the drug store and it nearly mauled my face to death. My face had a horrible reaction to it. (Not my fault!) Some makeup gurus have gotten by with drugstore makeup without any consequences. Its too much of a gamble for me. I can’t take a chance. I stick to what I know and what works for my skin.
I won’t lie to you, I actually double checked my numbers because the grand total made me do several double takes. I was absolutely mortified. My face costs HOW much? I had to sit back and truly absorb what I was reading. My face costs almost three-hundred dollars. I can see the number doing laps around my brain. It’s almost too insane to believe. I have one expensive mug.
You know how hypochondriacs don’t stop at one illness until they’ve diagnosed themselves with almost twenty different things they (don’t) have? That’s me right now. But can you blame me? Curiosity got the best of me. It’s one thing to spend loads of money on makeup. But then I began to think about my hair. I’ve always said that I have my mother’s hair from the 80’s (it’s big and full of secrets). My hair is long and thick. I pretty much have the best of both worlds here. It takes several hours to color, process, etc. I get my hair done about every eight weeks. That’s usually around the time that the color has faded, my roots are coming in and my ends are completely split.
I have to explain something to you. I’m weird when it comes to new people doing my hair. I’m very particular about who gets to style it. I don’t go to some lazy daisy hairdresser at Supercuts (been there done that). I do my research, I have my consultation, and book my appointment accordingly. My current hair stylist is worth every penny. She has high prices (to some, although I find her to be reasonable especially for the amount of work that she does) because she’s that good and her work speaks for itself. So when I tell someone how much my hair costs to get done, their jaw drops. On average, my hair costs $212 dollars (tip included).
In conclusion, my face and hair cost approximately $470.00.
(If only my dad were reading this right now. He’d flip his shit.)
There shouldnt be a price tag when it comes to feeling good about oneself. But truth be told–being a girl is expensive. The price for looking good just to feel good is at an all time high. As women, we want to look good. And when we look good, we feel good.
When I put on my face, I feel transformed. It’s a ritual of self-love that I repeat over and over again. I forget about the amount of money I’ve spent when I’m in that moment. I forget about my bills. I forget about any horrible thing that’s going on in my life. I zone out. My face appearance may have a hefty price tag, but my happiness is worth every cent.