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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Mental Health Day's are Necessary


I've got a lot of shit going on.  It feels like one giant mountain of activities, hobbies and passions all waiting to come crashing down like an avalanche.  If there's one thing you have to know about me is that--I don't know when to have just 'one' or maybe 'two' things that I decide to have as hobbies.  I bite off more than I can chew just to keep myself mentally sane.  I have to have all these things just so I can feel like I'm living my life instead of just working to get a paycheck.    So I find anything and everything to bide my time.  I use it as a distraction from my 9-5, Monday thru Friday existence...   

Every day feels the same.  I crawl upstairs to bed at 10:00pm and then I think about a thousand and one things before finally falling asleep around 10:30pm.  Bitch and moan when my alarm sounds at 6:50am--only to roll over and actually wake up and get out of bed at 7:00am.  And because I'm not a morning person whatsoever, I seem to move at the pace of a sloth in an attempt to get ready for another day in 'paradise'.

I pull up to the parking lot, park in my usual spot, get my bag checked by security and swipe in for another shift at the salt mines.  I stare at my computer for 8 hours between excel sheets and emails.  Typically my day involves answering some questions over the phone, file shit, work my ass off only to feel extremely overworked (and underpaid).  I ingest about 5 coffees, take a small walk outside the office so I don't explode and go insane and then I watch the clock till freedom.  Once I finish my day of torture work, I drive home, eat dinner, sneak in a bath if I am able, read IT for my book club and then watch television till 10:00pm. 

I repeat this cycle five days week.  It's my routine but it's also chaotic as fuck.  On top of my 40 hour work week, I draft, edit and publish a new blog post each Wednesday.  And I've recently been offered to blog twice a month for Little Shop of Gore.  To add to my busy schedule, I also got engaged so I've been searching for a venue (which is a nightmare).  I have so much on my plate.  You're probably wondering how I'm doing it all (and believe me, when I figure that out--I'll let you know).  But I couldn't be happier.  And even though it may seem daunting--it's also very rewarding.   I'm constantly busy and the wheel just hasn't stopped spinning.


To any outside observer, I'm sure I sound like I got my hands full and I need to drop a few of those side hustles.  And although that may be true to some, I'm afraid that I refuse.  I can't just start something and then quit halfway through.  I've done that so many times in my life and I've realized that if I'm going to do something--I'm going to stick to my word.  But I had to come up with a temporary solution to my issue...


I took a mental health day.  


I've recently become addicted to Anna Akana's videos on YouTube.  Addicted as in--I've had her shit on repeat for the past few days and it somehow soothes the shit outta me.  This cat obsessed human creates videos that speak to my soul.  She had posted a video a few months back titled 'When You Spread Yourself Too Thin'.






By the time the video was over, I felt like a billion light bulbs began to turn themselves on.  It all made so much sense.  I had spread myself too thin and now, I was feeling the results that she mentioned in her video...


1.) Exhaustion--Tired all the damn time.
Her immediate solution is relaxation by giving your body the time it needs to bounce back.
2.) Stressed Out All The Time
Her immediate solution is petting cats, drinking tea and taking a walk.  Mine is listening to music, drinking tea, taking a bath and reading (hence the book club).
3.) You Forget to Eat
I'm definitely 100% guilty of this.  There is so much adrenaline pumping going on that I completely forget to fuel myself.  I just forget to look at the time because I'm so invested in my work.  And then before I know it--my blood sugar starts to drop and I want to keel over. 
4.) You're Forgetful
I have a shitty memory anyways.  I can't even remember half the shit that went on last week.  But as of late, I've been extremely forgetful and it sucks.
5.) Lack of Sleep
My sleep has been shitty as of recent.  I lay there just constantly thinking of all the shit, I have to do or what I want to do next. (Also, why does this only happen right when I'm about to drift off to la-la land?  Somebody help me solve this mystery...)

With all this knowledge and realizing that my mind was on over drive, I decided to just take a break.  I wont lie to you-- I panicked at the word when it first crossed my brain.  Take a break? Huh? What?  I've been working so hard and my engine was so used to accelerating instead of slowing down.  But then I truly contemplated what she said.  How can I give 100% of my energy and passion into what makes me happy when I'm not truly on top of my game?  It had to be done.  I needed to take a step back and pump the breaks.  I had to realize that taking a mental health day allows you to take a moment (or a day really) to sit back and recharge your batteries.  Taking a mental health day doesn't mean that I've lost control.  It doesn't mean that shit is beyond overwhelming.  And it certainly doesn't mean that I can't handle all the shit I've got going on.   Taking this much needed day gave me time to unwind.  And if there's one thing that I haven't been doing as of late is unwinding.  We all get stressed and throughout all that stress, we become exhausted.  We can't help it.  We're only human.







 

I consider my side hustles just as time-consuming as my work day.  I'm happy with all that I've accomplished and I'm excited for the things to come.  But admitting that I needed to take this day as a mental reset was necessary.  I was being overworked in every aspect of my life.  I had to realize that it's okay to pump the breaks and take a minute to grease the wheels.  And I have to remember that my well-being is just as important as my hobbies.  My health should always come first no matter how eager I am to drive right back in and get some work done. 

You can have a full-time job, a ton of side hustles and hobbies.  Don't let the concept of constantly being busy overwhelm you.  But remember that every once and a while, you need to stop, take a breather and recharge those damn batteries.


xx

Meg









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